A speller's educational journey!
(Parent's perspective).
Congratulations to my son, Aydan affectionately called Speller #1! A sometimes nickname that emerged from being the first of the 8 featured spellers in the award-winning film, Spellers.
Graduating highschool is a dream most parents have for their children, in fact one often taken for granted. In the United States in 2023 its common for highschool graduation rates in some districts to be higher than 90 percent.
Unfortunately, due to discrimination against non-speakers who use spelling as a form of communication in the school system this is not always an option. Many will be placed on a life skills track meaning they’re expected to master skills necessary for life, like shopping, hygiene, maybe even job training. These of course are important skills any teen should learn but for non-speakers this is often done at the exclusion of academics.
But why?
If you scratch the surface surrounding the history of the differently abled, you’d find discrimination and abuse are nothing new. It’s often mainstreamed until a small group step up and gradually that group grows large enough to make an impact. For example, it wasn’t until the 1960s that it was beginning to be understood how IQ tests are biased against the deaf, and they are in no way intellectually disabled. That might seem strange to us now but that’s how it was. And even earlier this year Luna Perez vs. Sturgis Public School reached the Supreme court where a unanimous decision was made in favor of the deaf student ruling, he was not provided an adequate education.
Honestly, I can’t say I’ve ever taken an IQ test and if I did, I doubt my score was all that impressive, possibly for good reason but of all the things that are impacting the quality of my life, my score on an IQ test ain’t one of them.
In fact, I’d go so far to say that even a highschool diploma could be considered overrated as you technically can attend a 2-year community college, (as I taught all my kids to do) without a highschool degree. In essence it’s possible to graduate from college without a highschool diploma.
So why was Aydan awarded his highschool degree? Quite frankly because he earned it.
Like many differently abled students, Aydan started public school at the age of 3.
I won’t go into too much detail except to say it was a bad decision on my part and one I still regret. He continued on through elementary and was promoted to middle school at the end of 5th grade, but it was a constant battle. We found ourselves in a two-year dispute with the school for unmet services, too few services and low expectations on IEP goals.
Not to say, it was all bad. He had a great aide and had fun here and there, but I remember one day showing up to his class and observing my 10-year-old 5th grader sit at his table being told to do the same puzzle he did in pre-school. It may go without saying but I was pissed. Why weren’t they even trying to teach him? Likely the honest (maybe generous) answer they couldn’t give me at the time was they didn’t know how.
Despite the setbacks we pushed forward. I demanded more at every IEP, writing his goals and insisting on higher academics. I told them he could read, brushing off their confused faces. But truthfully, I didn’t know what to do either. I took a chance on hope and landed myself in Massachusetts at the Son-Rise program where they taught me it was okay to presume competence. That even if nothing changed from that point forward, I could believe, and no-one would be hurt by it.
Believe I did and as serendipity would happen, I received a call over the summer stating the classroom Aydan was supposed to be entering for 6th grade had fallen completely apart. The aide was on indefinite leave, the teacher retired but they had another school, possibly better they said, and I should come take a look while they were still in session for the ESY (Extended School Year).
So, one afternoon, Aydan, my infant daughter and I went to this “bigger and better” school to look around. I was immediately put off. There were no non-speaking students as far as I could see but there were plenty with so-called “behavior issues”, some of whom were in “isolation rooms” or as they used to be called “padded cells”. The teachers walked around with keys around their waste and an energy that was always on guard, ready to close and lock the gates for students who eloped. In case you haven’t picked up on the vide yet, yes, it reminded me of a prison.
Our school district representative, the principal, my daughter, Aydan and I went to the office after the tour. I remember distinctively sitting there looking down at my daughter in the stroller next to me, while the district rep and the principal carried on a conservation as if the rest of us weren’t in the room. I thought I was good at IEP speak but they used acronyms I didn’t understand, so at one point I stopped them and asked, “what does that mean?” “It means, he’s on a life skills track,” the district rep answered. “As opposed to what?” I asked. “Some students with IEPs will be on a graduation track or a job track…” I think at that point I tuned her out. Looking back at my daughter then over at Aydan flicking something in the corner of the room, I suddenly remembered the story of a young man who was non-speaking as a child but gained speech later in life. When the psychologist who first assessed him asked if he remembered the day, he was diagnosed with autism at 4 years old, he was able to recount the entire moment with great recall.
Without another thought, I stood up and shook the hands of the district rep, and the principal thanking them for their time. I smiled as they assured me this was a great school and a great opportunity as they rarely had openings, etc. etc. I didn’t argue or try to fight the system as had been my custom in the past, I realized I was never going to win that battle. Sure, I might be able to get him better services or an extra 30 minutes of speech, but I couldn’t force them to recognize his potential. I couldn’t make them value him. If life skills were all they were after, then that was all they were going to get. So, I simply walked out the front door with my kids. Before I reached my car, I got on my phone and called my husband saying I was ready to pull Aydan out of school and start homeschooling him.
We walked away and never looked back. And while I can’t say it was a straight path, it is a decision I have never regretted.
Fast forward… it’s 2020, Aydan’s 15, and serendipity stepped in once again and delivered us to Spell to Communicate (S2C), allowing us to pursue academics in a way we hadn’t before.
I maintained transcripts recording all Aydan’s work and credits. He completed the normal classes Algebra, Geometry, Life-Skills, Sciences, etc. etc. And on top of that Community service, the Constitution, Civics and more. We read all the classics, a favorite being Huckleberry Finn, “a story about freedom”, in Aydan’s words. Spelling allowed me to hear my son’s thesis on The Great Gatsby.
Thinking back to that day, we walked out of the school district before we found spelling, it was such a leap of faith. As much as I presumed competence, I couldn’t have predicted we were going to read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or Moby Dick for the first time together.
So, at the end of the day, Aydan received his highschool diploma because he earned it.
When the summer approached, I looked at his transcripts and realized that he had completed all his requirements except geometry. We set off to finish the course over the summer but by summer’s end, we still had a few lessons to go. I looked at the calendar and realized that October 27th. marked his 3-year spelliversary, so rather than an arbitrary date at the beginning of June with no particular meaning, we set that date for his graduation. He finished all his remaining assignments, and we celebrated the day with good food, family and a surf session.
While homeschooling isn’t for everyone, as everyone’s needs are different, I’m definitely noticing a trend of spellers joining the ranks to whom I say ‘welcome’.
For parents, CRPs and loved ones pondering making the leap, I’m happy to help if I can, so please reach out.
Whatever your schooling situation looks like, if you have a speller in public school, Harvard or homeschool, you’re already crushing it!
Happy Spelling!
Sad beginning, very happy ending. Congratulations to Aydan and family!